MASH 5 year Reunion
by MASHFAN
Summary: Just what the the title says - another MASH Reunion story. Please R&R, but this is my first fanfic so no beheading!
1. Default Chapter

_AUTHOR COMMENTS: I've written a lot more of this story, but I'm just posting the first two chapters to see if it's any good. let me know honestly if this should continue or not. Oh, and for fans of HM (I'm one of them), unfortunatly, while they are together, it's not going to be terribly romantic and mushy between them... sorry. Let me know what you think! Here's the story._

Crabapple Cove, Maine, 1958  
  
Hawkeye sighed impatiently yet again as he looked at the clock in his Crabapple Cove home and saw that it had not moved much, if at all.  
  
A female voice came from behind him, slightly annoyed with his pacing and constant sighs. "Why don't you head out?"  
  
Hawkeye turned to face her. "Margaret, you know as well as I do that I'll be early if I leave now. Then I'll just be wearing a hole in the airport floor instead of this floor."  
  
"I don't care, Pierce, you're getting on my nerves!"  
  
Hawkeye couldn't help but smirk at the fact that she still used his last name when she wanted to order him around. She noticed this.  
  
"And whip that smirk from your face!" She said, even though she had a bit of a smile on hers.  
  
"What smirk?" asked Hawkeye innocently, his face now serious.  
  
Margaret laughed. "Just get out of here!"  
  
Hawkeye walked toward the door, then stopped and turned around. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Margaret anticipated him.  
  
"And no, you can't take Danny or Anna with you." she said, now with a smirk of her own as his face took on a pouting expression.  
  
"But Maarrrgret,"  
  
"Not buts. They're still asleep from their naps and I won't have them cranky because their father wants to show them off to his best friend!"  
  
Hawkeye laughed and was soon joined in laughter by Margaret. She walked over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  
  
"Now get going!" she shooed him out the door.  
  
Hawkeye walked grinning to the van. He and Margaret both enjoyed their playful sparing matches.  
  
He got in the van and took off to Portland. Portland was about an hour away from Crabapple Cove, and was where BJ and his family were landing. BJ now had three children. Erin was 7, Ben was 4, and Katy was now 2.  
  
Hawkeye and Margaret's own kids, Danny and Anna, were 3 and 1. Hawk and BJ talked on the phone several times a week plus letters, but hadn't been able to see each other in person since the war ended except at Hawk and Margaret's wedding. At the time, the rest of BJ's family hadn't been able to come. Ben had been named after Hawkeye. BJ had been tempted to actually call the child Hawkeye, but besides the fact that he hadn't wanted two people with the name of Hawk, which could get confusing, Peg had drawn the line at that point.  
  
Besides each other, Hawk and BJ hadn't kept in that good of touch with the other members of the 4077th. Except for Margaret, of course. Hawkeye and Margaret had met up again about six months after the war, and gotten married six months later, about a year after the war. They figured they had wasted enough time as it was. BJ was the only member of the 4077th present at the wedding. Then, around their first anniversary, Danny (named after Hawkeye's father) was born.  
  
All the other members of the 4077th were arriving the next day for the 5-year reunion. They had kept in touch, but not that well. Now they would. Hawkeye had a reasonably sized house, a big back yard, and the beach only a short drive away so he wanted to have the reunion at his house.  
  
Hawkeye arrived at the airport, checked his watch, and sighed. He had left at 1 pm, so it was now 2, and BJ wasn't due until 3. He couldn't wait to see his best friend again. Looking around, he decided to kill the hour in the café.   
  
_short chapter length, I know, but it'll have to do._


	2. Chapter 2

_Author Comments: Here's chapter two! R&R!  
_  
An hour later, Hawkeye was watching the people coming out of the terminal, waiting for his best friend to make an appearance. Finally, he saw BJ coming through the crowd.  
  
"Beej!" he called excitedly.  
  
Hearing his name, BJ looked around and saw him.   
  
"Hawk!" he called back with a grin  
  
They laughed and hugged, then BJ turned toward his family and said, "Hawk, meet the people you've heard so much about! This is Peg, Erin, Ben, and Katy."  
  
Katy, who Peg was holding, turned and hid her face in her mother's shoulder, being shy. Erin smiled at Hawkeye while Ben looked up and asked, "Are you Uncle Hawk?"  
  
Hawkeye laughed and nodded. "That would be me." he said, "Nice to meet you two!"  
  
Erin laughed as well and said, "You look just like you sound and just like Daddy said!"  
  
Hawkeye grinned and hugged the girl, then turned to Peg.  
  
"Hard to believe this is the first time I've meet you, I've heard so much about you and even talked to you once or twice on the phone!" said Hawkeye  
  
Peg smiled. "The feelings mutual, believe me!"  
  
Hawkeye grinned again and gave her a friendly hug the best he could with Katy in her arms.  
  
"Don't worry, Hawk, she'll come around, she's just shy." said BJ, gently rubbing his daughter's back.  
  
Hawkeye nodded. "Everybody ready?"  
  
"I have to get the luggage, just a minute" said BJ, moving off to the luggage pick-up.  
  
Once BJ had picked up the luggage, they all headed to the van. BJ and Peg put the kids in child seats, then they took off. BJ sat in front with Hawk and they talked and caught up on the way home. BJ and Peg were both impressed with Maine scenery as they drove.  
  
"Hey, Hawk, you told anyone else from the camp that you married Margaret?"  
  
Hawkeye's eyes danced. "Nope".  
  
BJ let out a laugh. "I thought so. I wasn't sure if you could keep that news quiet this long or not, though."  
  
Hawkeye gave him a mock suspicious look. "The news is safe as long as you haven't opened your big mouth to anyone."  
  
BJ held his hands up in surrender. "Not a word to anyone! I swear, I'm innocent!"  
  
Hawkeye and BJ both had a fit of laughter, to which Peg rolled her eyes from her spot in the back seat but smiled nonetheless. She knew BJ was having fun and was happy, and besides, she thought it was very amusing.  
  
"So who all is coming?" asked BJ once they had settled down.  
  
"Everyone." answered Hawkeye, "Potter, Charles. Yes, Charles, the one who swore he wouldn't waste one thought on us after he got out of that hell hole. Um, Klinger with Soon Lee and their son, Max Jr., that ought to be scary, uh Radar. Hey, get this, Radar is married!"  
  
"You're kidding me!"  
  
"Would I kid you? He's married to a girl named Patty. I'm going to have to get the full story on that one when they get here. Anyway, umm…. Trapper is coming, with his family, Sidney, yes, I got a hold of Sidney! Father Mulcahy, oh, and one more person!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Guess!"  
  
BJ tried to think of who Hawkeye hadn't mentioned yet.  
  
Hawkeye grinned "I'll give you a hint. Think Ferret."  
  
BJ burst out laughing. "Not FRANK BURNS?"  
  
Hawkeye joined in the laughter and nodded. "That's right. Frank's going to have the joy of showing up, no doubt hoping, if not outright expecting, to get Margaret again. Boy, will he get a surprise when he sees the wedding rings and kids!"  
  
Hawkeye and BJ continued to laugh until Hawkeye had to pull over for fear of getting into an accident from the tears in his eyes. Finally, they calmed down enough to hear Peg say, "The poor man. What a terrible shock it will be."  
  
That caused more laughter from BJ and Hawkeye, and Hawkeye managed to say, "Only someone who has never met Ferret Face would say that."  
  
When they finally got back on the road, BJ said to Hawkeye, "Lemme guess. Your idea?"  
  
"Actually, no. Margaret suggested it. Said it wouldn't be right to exclude him. And, though she'll never admit it, she's looking forward to seeing his face when he finds out as much as we are!"  
  
"I'm sure." said BJ.  
  
"He's arriving last, I want everyone else to know before him so everyone can enjoy the reaction. I know Trap will. That is, after he wakes up from his own fainting at the news. Believe me, Beej, besides Frank, Trapper will be the most surprised."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because when he was there, Margaret and I were practically the enemy to each other. And she was still with Frank, and hadn't loosened up yet. He never would have guessed I would end up marrying 'Hot Lips', as he's liable to call her before I correct him."  
  
"You're cruel Hawk." BJ laughed.  
  
Hawkeye gave a mischievous grin. "And that's news to you?"  
  
BJ shook his head and laughed again. "Good point."  
  
_Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Author Comments: Yah! I don't completly stink at writing! Thanks to all who reviewed. Here's Chapter 3. Unfortunatly, I'm going on vacation for the Fourth of July weekend, all other chapters will have to wait until I get back. Sorry. On to the story!_

Before too long, they were pulling into Crabapple Cove, Maine.  
  
It's just like Hawk described it, thought BJ.  
  
They pulled into Hawkeye's driveway and they all got out and BJ and Peg got their kids out of the child seats. Then the door to the house opened and Danny came out, grinning and running toward them when he saw his father.  
  
"Daddy!"  
  
"Hey there, Bud!" Hawkeye caught the running 3-year-old and swung him up towards the sky, causing shrieks of laughter to come from Danny, before pulling him close for a hug.  
  
"Did you have a good nap?" asked Hawkeye.  
  
"Uh-huh." said Danny.  
  
Hawkeye turned toward BJ and Peg, who were now standing behind him, and said, "BJ, Peg, this is my son Danny. Danny, this is Uncle BJ and Aunt Peg."  
  
Danny put his head against his father's chest, but didn't bury his face. Instead, he looked at them. Then he looked at Hawkeye.  
  
"Daddy, that Uncle BJ?"  
  
"That's right buddy."  
  
Danny then smiled a gave a wave to BJ, still being too shy to actually talk to him. But he had heard his father talk to or about BJ quite a bit, so he wasn't totally shy. BJ smiled and waved back.  
  
"Hi little guy." he said, "You look an awful lot like your Daddy."  
  
"Well, let's get inside." said Hawkeye with a grin.  
  
"Where's everyone staying?" asked BJ as they walked toward the house.  
  
"Well," said Hawkeye, "We have 4 rooms upstairs, three of which are usually used. But for the reunion, two of the rooms will be used for the kids, and the rest of the upstairs will be used, however they want to use it, by the women. We'll sleep downstairs with blankets."  
  
"Well, the floor has to be better than Army cots."  
  
"Got that right!"  
  
As they walked in, Peg said, "This house is beautiful."  
  
"BJ!" came a squeal, and suddenly Margaret was there giving BJ a big hug. "It's so good to see you!" Then she saw Peg and the kids. "You must be Peg. I'm Margaret. Nice to meet you."  
  
"It's nice to finally meet you, too." said Peg with a smile.  
  
"Margaret, this is Erin, Ben, and Katy." said BJ, introducing his kids.  
  
"Pictures don't do you guys justice!" said Margaret, "You're all so big!"  
  
Erin and Ben laughed, but Katy kept her head buried in her mother's shoulder. She had come out of the shell a little on the car ride from the airport, actually talking to Hawkeye. But now, confronted with more new people, she was shy again.  
  
Margaret ushered them all into the living room. "This is Anna." said Margaret, picking up the 1-year-old who had crawled as fast as she could over to them. She saw Hawkeye, and made some excited gestures and noises that before too long she would be able to make into words.  
  
Margaret laughed, "Yes, I know Daddy's home. Do you want to see him?"  
  
Anna reached for her father, so Margaret and Hawkeye traded kids.  
  
"Hey there, baby girl. How've you been?" Hawkeye asked her.  
  
BJ smiled at Anna. "I don't believe this. First Danny looks like Hawkeye, now Anna looks like Margaret!" The group had a hardy laugh, then all settled onto the sofa and chairs to talk and really catch up, and so Hawk and Margaret could get to know Peg and vice versa.  
  
Eventually, all the kids had fallen asleep, they looked at the time and decided they had better call it a night. Hawkeye was going to pick everyone else except Frank about 9 am, so he would leave at 8 and be back by 10. They all were staying for 3 days, counting tomorrow. Tomorrow would be Friday, and everyone was coming on Friday and leaving late on Sunday. BJ had decided that he wanted to go with Hawkeye to see everybody again as quickly as possible, and so he could drive the other van Hawkeye had rented since it was going to take two vans to get everyone back. Peg had volunteered to watch the kids so Margaret could go, too. Frank hadn't said how he was going to get there, only that he would be at Hawkeye's house at about 11. So that would give everybody an hour before he arrived.  
  
The next morning BJ, Hawkeye, and Margaret set off, BJ and Hawk each driving a van and Margaret riding with Hawkeye. They arrived at the airport a little early, but not too early. Potter was the first to arrive.  
  
"Pierce, is that you son?"  
  
"Yes, Colonel! How've ya been?"  
  
"Great, retirements just fine, but I'm not a colonel anymore so call me either Sherman or Potter."  
  
"Fair enough, Sherm." said Hawkeye. "I'm sure you recognize these two." he gestured toward Margaret and BJ.  
  
"Hunnicut! Margaret! How good to see you!" Potter pulled them both in for a hug. "When did you get here?"  
  
"I got here yesterday." said BJ.  
  
Potter looked at Margaret. She carefully answered, "I was here yesterday as well." It wasn't lying, yet it lead Potter to believe that she had gotten here yesterday along with BJ. Hawkeye flashed Margaret a grin from behind Potter at her answer, to which she smiled back.  
  
Margaret turned to the woman with Potter. "You must be Mildred. Sherman has told us so much about you."  
  
"And he has told me all about you as well." Mildred returned with a smile, taking Margaret's hand. "He's very fond of you all."  
  
"We know." said Hawkeye, then a grin split his face as he called, "Trap! Over here!"  
  
Trapper, along with his wife Louise and daughters Kathy and Becky, walked over.  
  
"Hawk! How ya doing?"   
  
"Great! You?"  
  
"Just fine!"  
  
The two laughed and hugged, then Trapper said, "Louise, Kathy, Becky, this is Hawkeye Pierce, bonafide lunatic. Margaret Houlihan (Hawkeye and Margaret shared an amused look at the name), also known as 'Hot Lips'…"  
  
"It's Margaret now, Trap." interrupted Hawkeye.  
  
Trapper looked slightly taken aback but continued, "I don't know you two." he said, motioning to Potter and BJ.  
  
"Oh, this is Colonel Potter, now Sherman Potter." said Hawkeye, "He replaced Henry. And this is BJ Hunnicut, your replacement."   
  
"Nice to meet you." Trapper greeted. Just then BJ said, "Hawk, I think I see Radar. And Klinger! RADAR! KLINGER! Over here!"  
  
The two came over.  
  
"Hey everyone!" said Klinger excitedly, "What's going on?"  
  
"Hey guys!" said Radar.  
  
There were hugs and introductions all around as everyone arrived. BJ announced that everyone would have to wait until they got home to meet Peg and the family that they had heard so much about during the war, much to their disappointment. Finally, they all piled into the vans, Margaret, Trapper and his family, Radar and Patty, and Father Mulcahy in with Hawkeye and the Potters, Klingers, Sidney, and Charles in with BJ.  
  
"Is Burns coming?" Potter asked BJ as they drove.  
  
"Yep. He's just coming a little later. He'll be at Hawkeye's about 11."  
  
Potter nodded. Everyone in both vans caught up until they arrived at Hawkeye's. The kids came out, BJ's kids wanting to see their father and the Pierce children wanting to see both their parents. Hawkeye picked up Danny and Margaret picked up Anna, and they waited until BJ had finished introducing his family.  
  
"Everybody this is my wife Peg and daughter Erin, who you've all heard about. And this is my son Ben and youngest daughter Katy."  
  
BJ introduced everybody to Peg and the kids, then everybody seemed to notice that Hawkeye and Margaret were holding children.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author Comments: I'm back a day earlier than I expected... good thing, too, if the death threats for that cliff hanger were any indication. For those reviewers who asked, yes, you will hear what the others have been up to, but I'm not sure if it'll be in the detail you want. It sounds like everyone wants to see everyone's reactions... here it is, and I hope it doesn't disappoint._

As they all looked at them, Hawkeye grinned at them all.   
  
"Everybody, these are our, yes our children, Danny and Anna." Hawkeye looked around at the shocked expressions on the faces and laughed along with Margaret.  
  
"We got married about a year after the war ended." Margaret continued  
  
BJ was also being amused by the completely shocked expressions. Then Potter broke the spell by going, "HOT DOG!"   
  
"HOLY TOLEDO!" (Klinger)  
  
"Congratulations!" (Father Mulcahy)  
  
"You can't be serious!" (Radar)  
  
"My god, hell must be freezing over!" (Charles)  
  
"I thought so! Congratulations!" (Sidney)  
  
Trapper finally came out of his spell to exclaim, "Hawk, what the hell?!? You married Hot Lips?!?!"  
  
"It's Margaret now, Trap, I told you." Said Hawkeye, but still with a smile on his face as he looked around.  
  
Potter noticed BJ hadn't looked shocked at all, so said "You expecting this to happen or did you know about it?"  
  
BJ laughed. "I was the best man in the wedding, Sherm."  
  
"You were? And no one told anyone else?"  
  
"I wanted to keep it a surprise, Corn, err, Sherm." Said Hawkeye.  
  
Margaret laughed, "And surprise them we did!"  
  
Peg laughed along with Margaret. "I'll say!"  
  
Trapper turned to Louise. "I guess this means we're going to get abducted by aliens."  
  
"What?" came in unison.  
  
Trapper looked at everyone and said, completely serious, "I told Louise, and I meant it, that we would get abducted by creatures from outer space before these two hooked up."  
  
Everybody laughed. Then Potter said, "Those children look just like you two."  
  
Hawkeye and Margaret smiled proudly. "We know." Said Margaret, then Hawkeye reached over and placed a quick kiss on Margaret's lips.   
  
"Wait a minute. Does our old buddy Frank know about this?" asked Trapper  
  
"Nope." Answered Hawkeye  
  
"I think that it's a good thing he won't be arriving for another," Margaret paused to check her watch, "40 minutes. It might take all of us to deal with him when he gets here and finds out."

Everyone laughed at the thought of what Frank Burns would think, then all started to head into the house.

"Say, Pierce, where's your father?" Potter asked, "After everything you told us in Korea, I expected him to be here." 

Hawkeye and Margaret glanced at each other. Hawkeye then looked to the ground as he spoke. "He died of a heart attack about two years ago."

Potter placed a hand on Hawk's shoulder. "Sorry to hear that, son."

Hawkeye looked up with a small smile. "It's alright, Sherm. Thanks, though."

Potter nodded. To lighten the mood, BJ spoke up, "I can't wait to see Ferret Face's reaction."

Everybody laughed in agreement.

About 40 minutes later, they heard a car pull up. Hawkeye winked at everybody else then went out to greet Frank, who came without his family.  
  
"Hey, Frank. Long time, no see."  
  
"Hello Pierce. Anyone else here yet?"  
  
"Everybody is."  
  
Frank looked considerably happier.  
  
They went inside and Hawkeye said, "Frank, you know everybody here except your replacement, Charles Emerson Winchester the Third"  
  
"Nice to meet you." Frank greeted, all the while quickly scanning the room for Margaret, and, finding her, his face lit up.  
  
"The pleasures all mine, I'm sure." Said Charles in return.  
  
Frank went to sit next to Margaret, in the place Hawkeye had been sitting in before he had gone to greet Frank.  
  
"Hello, Margaret." He smiled happily, "I heard you divorced Penopscott."  
  
"That's right, I did."  
  
"That's wonderful that you got away from that evil man"  
  
"It certainly is."  
  
Just then, Anna crawled up to Margaret. Frank, noticing how much the child looked like Margaret, said with a gulp "Is that your daughter?"  
  
Margaret smiled, willing herself not to look at Hawkeye who would most certainly make her burst out in laughter. "Yes, it is. This is Anna."  
  
"Hello there, angel." Said Frank, then looked at Margaret again and said hesitantly, "Where's her daddy?"  
  
Margaret put the little girl on the floor and said, "Anna, go find Daddy."  
  
To Frank's shock and horror, the child crawled quickly to Hawkeye.  
  
"Hey, baby girl. Boy, you can sure crawl fast" said Hawkeye, picking up the girl.  
  
"HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE!" exclaimed Frank.  
  
"Something wrong, Frank?" asked Hawkeye innocently, still holding Anna.  
  
"YES! THERE IS!"  
  
"What is it, Frank?" asked Margaret.  
  
Frank swung to face Margaret.  
  
"You have a child with this degenerate?!?" he said, pointing a finger at Hawkeye.  
  
"I didn't think it was a such a fuss to have children with your husband. Children, Frank, as it more than one." said Margaret.  
  
Frank had gone white. "Husband?" he said, almost a whisper  
  
"That's right, Frank. Margaret and I got married about a year after the war." Put in Hawkeye.  
  
Frank now turned to face Hawkeye. "Married?"  
  
Hawkeye nodded.  
  
"More than one child?"  
  
Hawkeye nodded again and pointed to where Danny was playing with the other children on the floor. "Danny's ours as well."  
  
Frank watched Danny for a few moments in shock, and then looked at Hawkeye with a look of anger.  
  
"What have you done to her?"  
  
"Done to her?" repeated Hawkeye.  
  
"Yes, what have you done to poor Margaret? Get her pregnant to trap her with you?"  
  
"Get her.." Hawkeye started, and then he threw his head back and laughed. "Not a bad idea, Frank but I have to disappoint you. We were married when she got pregnant with Danny."  
  
"Then undo whatever you did to make her stay with you!"  
  
"What are you implying that I did, Frank?" asked Hawkeye, chuckling. "Hypnotize her?"  
  
"Maybe!"  
  
"Frank, use what little mind you have! You can't hypnotize someone to do that, and even if you could, I wouldn't know how." Hawkeye was having a hard time not outright laughing at the absurd ideas coming out of Frank.  
  
Frank turned to look at Margaret. "I'll save you, Margaret. You can't really want to be with him!"  
  
Margaret rolled her eyes. 'Frank, I don't need or want saving. I'm here completely because I want to be. And I happen to love Hawkeye."  
  
Frank stared at her for a moment in shock. Then a look of deadly calm came over his face, and he extended his hand to Margaret. "Well, then, congratulations. I'm happy for you."  
  
Margaret's surprise was reflected in her face, then concern replaced it when she realized that this was the same way he had reacted to her marriage to Donald. He had gone crazy because of it. She hoped this would turn out better.  
  
"Thank you, Frank." She said, with a small smile.  
  
Frank nodded, then turned to Hawkeye. "Same for you."  
  
"Thank you Frank." Said Hawkeye, now slightly concerned because he, too, had recognized the behavior.  
  
Frank nodded, then said "I'm going to get a breath of fresh air. Excuse me."  
  
Frank walked out through the front door, then everybody inside the house heard a screech of, "THAT IMMORAL, DISGUSTING SLIME BALL!"  
  
Hawkeye gave a grin to everybody else. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe Frank is making reference to me."  
  
BJ chuckled. "I would say so."  
  
"At least he's letting it out more that he did, maybe it won't affect him as much." Spoke up Potter.   
  
Charles turned to Margaret. "You can't possibly expect me to believe that you would be low enough to have anything to do with that thing that passes as a human." He motioned to the door that Frank had just walked through. "I only saw him for those couple of minutes and I can already tell that all those bad things said about him were not exaggerations." Then, catching himself, he continued "Realize, this is not meant as an insult to you, Margaret."  
  
Margaret nodded. "I'm not proud of it, but it's true. And I'm not offended Charles, don't worry."  
  
They heard the door open and Frank came in, now composed. "This is a better house than I expected from you, Pierce."  
  
"I can tell you're just ready to compliment, aren't you Franky?"  
  
Frank gave him a look and then, looking at the wives and children, said "So who belongs to who?"  
  
Hawkeye rolled his eyes, and BJ spoke up, "Nice way of putting it, Frank. Anyway, since you asked, this is my wife Peg and my three kids are Erin, Ben, and Katy."  
  
Everybody introduced their families to Frank, then they all settled either on the sofa, chairs, or floor, the people who had been at the camp in the beginning telling the ones who had come later any stories they hadn't already heard about the early time of the 4077th. Then, the ones who had been there at the end told the ones who hadn't about everything that had happened at the camp since they left. Trapper, in particular, was surprised at how much the camp had changed, yet at the same time stayed the same.

_About my chapter breaks... as I said earlier, I have already written most of the story, and kinda forgot I would have to break it into chapters to post, therefore it is hard to choose where my chapter breaks should be. Anyway, thanks for reading. R&R!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Author Comments: Here's chapter 5, with chapter 6. I think I'm going to start posting two chapters at a time now. Anyway, this is sorta a transitional chapter so bear with me._

"Oh, Trap, you gotta hear this one!" said Hawkeye, laughing. "Once, BJ and I played a joke on Charles where his pants fell down in OR. Unfortunately, everybody ended up thinking it was a tasteless joke, and despised me for it. BJ had helped me pull it but stayed quiet, so I took all the blame."  
  
Charles and BJ both were laughing hard now. BJ continued, "Hawk decided that he would play a joke on himself so that everybody would blame Charles and he would be off the hook. So we had Klinger set up chairs so that Hawk would sit in glue."  
  
"I only followed orders!" Klinger put in.  
  
Charles continued, "BJ, however, told Klinger the wrong places on purpose, so that I would be the one in the glue, and Pierce would again get the blame."  
  
"I didn't know it wasn't a simple mistake until I talked to Klinger, who said that BJ had told him that." Hawkeye picked up the story, "So I went to Charles and told him that BJ had arranged it so that he got humiliated, I got blamed, and BJ was free and clear."  
  
Peg was laughing extremely hard. "Oh, BJ, that was awful! Ingenious, but awful!  
  
"So the next morning, I wake up in a nurses' tent." Said BJ, "Butt naked. Under my blanket, don't worry Peg. Anyway, the ladies wouldn't help me so I tried to take the blanket off, and found it was sewn on so I couldn't use it for cover. So I told the nurses 'until I get something to wear, nothing can make me move out of this bed.' Then the call for incoming wounded came, and I said 'except that'. I took that pillow to cover the essentials, and backed out of the tent."  
  
Now everyone who remembered the incident was laughing too hard to continue. Finally Hawkeye gasped out, "Imagine his face when he backed out, bare-butt first, to the whole camp plus cameras! And the PA saying 'SORRY, DR. HUNNICUT, THEY MADE ME DO IT!'" Everybody laughed until they cried.  
  
"Glad to see that not all the fun went out of the camp when Henry and I left!" said Trapper.  
  
For a couple hours, they continued telling stories, then they looked at the clock and realized it was almost supper time.  
  
"Listen, everybody, why don't we go out?" said Hawkeye, "I know of a place that has a table big enough for all of us to sit around, and it serves the best lobster in the world to boot!"  
  
Everybody agreed, so they all piled in the vans and took off. They walked into the restaurant and, sure enough, the biggest table in the place was just big enough for all of them.  
  
The Hunnicuts arranged their children, and Hawkeye asked Danny, "Where do you want to sit, buddy?". Hawkeye pointed to a couple seats Danny could choose from. Danny chose the seat between his parents. As Hawkeye placed him in the seat, Hawkeye looked over to Margaret and asked, "Are you doing Anna or do you want me to?"  
  
Margaret handed Anna over to Hawkeye. "If you do her, I'll help Danny. Oh, by the way, she needs her diaper changed."  
  
Hawkeye rolled his eyes. "Thanks a lot, Mommy."  
  
Margaret just smiled. "You're welcome."  
  
Hawkeye rolled his eyes again and took off for the bathroom to change his daughter.  
  
"You got a dirty diaper, Girly?" he asked. Anna responded with a smile, a nod, and then she laughed as Hawkeye held her out in front of him and buzzed her around like an airplane as he walked.  
  
Back at the table, Danny looked at Margaret. "Where Daddy 'n Anna go?"  
  
"Anna needed her diaper changed." Margaret told him. Danny nodded.  
  
BJ and Peg had managed to arrange it so that one of them would be within reaching distance of all three kids.  
  
"No, Katy, I'm sorry but we forgot your cup at home." BJ was telling Katy.  
  
"That's right. Sorry sweetie." Peg told her, then she explained to Margaret, "She has a special cup she drinks out of at home." Margaret nodded.  
  
Hawkeye came out of the bathroom and started walking toward the table with Anna. "Feel better?" he asked her. Anna laughed. "Yeah, I wouldn't like a load in my pants either. But don't tell Mommy I said that, she wouldn't like it."  
  
He placed Anna in the seat on his right, and then sat down.  
  
"Nice place." Put in Father Mulcahy.  
  
Sidney happened to be sitting across from Hawkeye.  
  
"I see you've gotten over your fear of children."  
  
"Well, I kinda had to." Said Hawkeye, motioning to Danny and Anna. "And Margaret's been a big help with dealing with that stuff, when I have to. The only time it's really come up to bother me was when they were about the same age as the baby on the bus."  
  
Sidney nodded. "Makes sense. Sounds like you've done good."  
  
Hawkeye smiled. "Thanks"  
  
"No problem."  
  
They all ate, and then they went back to Hawkeye and Margaret's. They talked some more until the kids started to fall asleep.  
  
Margaret took the Pierce children into the bathroom to brush teeth and take a quick bath. Then the Hunnicutt children took turns in the bathtub, and finally 4-year-old Max Klinger Jr. took a bath. All the children were tucked into bed in the bedrooms upstairs.  
  
After they got that accomplished, the adults all sat back down in the living room, joking and talking.  
  
"And Henry almost got blown to bits…in the LATRINE!!! Remember that?" laughed Trapper.  
  
After they got done laughing, the ones that had known Henry turned somber, the ones that hadn't were quiet for their friends' sake since they knew what they were thinking about.  
  
Then Hawkeye raised his glass and said, "Henry, you would have enjoyed tonight. Thanks for the memories, buddy. We'll never forget you." Everybody in the room took a drink.  
  
Then Hawkeye said to Margaret, "You think we should have invited Henry's family?"  
  
Margaret shook her head. "On one level, I'm sure they would enjoy hearing about the funny things Henry did while at the 4077th. But it wouldn't be good for them in the long run to drudge through memory lane like we've been doing."  
  
Hawkeye nodded, and then the talk turned to what people had been up to since the war.  
  
Klinger had been in Korea for close to a year before they had gotten home. They had found Soon-Lee's parents but sadly learned that her brother had been killed. They got back to Toledo only about a month and a half before Soon-Lee gave birth to Max.  
  
Father Mulcahy had regained some of his hearing, but not a whole lot. But with the combination of his limited hearing and lip-reading, he could follow even group conversations. He had, just like he said, been working with the deaf, and now knew sign language very well.  
  
Charles, of course, had taken the position of Chief of Thorastic Surgery at Boston Mercy Hospital, and that was keeping him pretty busy. He also, the others learned much to their surprise, had a girlfriend that he was hoping to soon make into a fiancé.  
  
Radar had met Patty in the airport on his last leave, right before he went home. He had told her he would get a hold of her when he got back to the states, and he did. They had been married for just under two years now.  
  
Potter had been enjoying retirement in Missouri. He really enjoyed the extra time to fish or read.  
  
Frank had simply been continuing his practice ("You mean MALpractice, right Frank?" cut in Hawkeye) in Fort Wayne, Indiana with his family, which he practically refused to say much about.  
  
Everybody listened attentively as Hawkeye and Margaret described how they had ended up, 5 years after the war, married with two young children. Frank kept attempting to change the subject or make nasty comments about Hawkeye throughout, as he didn't want to hear the story, but everybody listened nonetheless.  
  
BJ talked about how hard it was, at first, because Erin hadn't known who he was. But before too long, it was as though she couldn't remember being without him, which Peg said was actually true; Erin had been young enough she really didn't have that much recollection of when BJ had been away in Korea.  
  
Finally, they realized they better get some sleep, so the women went upstairs to sort out sleep arrangements while the men grabbed a bunch of blankets and pillows to make themselves at home downstairs.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author comments: Chapter 6, ladies and gents._

In the morning, Margaret and Peg were woken up at the same time, by Danny and Katy.  
  
"Hey big guy. Did you sleep well?" asked Margaret  
  
Danny nodded.  
  
"How about you, Katy? Did you have a good sleep?" asked Peg.  
  
Katy nodded as well, then she said, "Mommy, when home?"  
  
"Not today, but tomorrow. After one more sleep."  
  
Katy nodded again, then Margaret said, "Danny, Katy, why don't you go find your Daddies?"  
  
Peg grinned, knowing most likely how the two men were going to be woken up, and nodded.  
  
Danny and Katy walked downstairs, Peg and Margaret close behind. BJ was closer to the stairs, and when Katy saw him she pointed and told Danny, "Daddy!" Danny nodded and pointed to Hawkeye a short ways away and said, "My Daddy!" Peg and Margaret chuckled as their children interacted. Then, Danny took off running toward Hawkeye, jumped a little ways before he got there, and landed right on Hawkeye's stomach.  
  
Hawkeye's eyes flew open as Danny landed and the wind went out of him simultaneously.  
  
As Hawkeye caught his breath, he noticed Peg and Margaret were standing by the stairs, and that Margaret was laughing softly to herself.  
  
"Funny, Margaret. Very funny."  
  
Margaret grinned and said, "Danny just wanted to wake up his daddy."  
  
"Riiight." Then Hawkeye looked at Danny and smiled. "Morning, Bud."  
  
Danny smiled. " 'ood morning!"  
  
Katy, decided that what Danny had done looked fun, walked over to her father, but instead of running and jumping, she simply got close and then flopped down on his stomach.  
  
BJ's eyes came open. "Hi sweetie."  
  
" 'ood 'orning."  
  
Hawkeye sat up. "Consider yourself lucky, Beej. I was the recipient of a 'run and jump'"  
  
BJ laughed.  
  
"I suppose we should think about breakfast." Stated Peg.  
  
They all nodded, then Hawkeye asked, "Where's Anna?"  
  
"Still asleep." Answered Margaret.  
  
Peg and Margaret moved toward the kitchen to start breakfast. Hawkeye looked at BJ. "Quick game of Gin or Poker, Beej?"  
  
"Sound good." Just then, however, they heard Anna wake up and start crying.  
  
"Scratch that." Said Hawkeye as he stood up to go get her.  
  
"You woke up, did you? Good morning." Said Hawkeye as he walked into her room.  
  
Anna stopped crying, smiled, and bounced in her crib at the site of her father. Hawkeye picked her up and kissed her forehead as they walked out.  
  
Soon, everyone was awake and eating breakfast.  
  
"So, what are the plans for today?" asked Charles  
  
"Say, Pierce, didn't you say something about a beach nearby?" asked Potter  
  
"That's a great idea! A day at the beach!" said Klinger.  
  
"We can pack a picnic lunch and everything!" said Radar.  
  
Everybody chimed in their agreement until Hawkeye held up his hands and said, laughing, "Alright, alright! We'll go to the beach!"  
  
So, as soon as the breakfast dishes were done, they piled into the vans and took off to the beach. Once they got here, they spread out the large picnic tablecloths they had brought with them.  
  
"This is the life!" announced Hawkeye as he spread out on his towel.  
  
"Don't even think about it, Pierce!" said Margaret, "We have a son and a daughter who would like to go swimming but are too little to go alone."  
  
Hawkeye groaned, causing a laugh from BJ.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Said Hawkeye.  
  
Margaret placed Anna between her legs in the sand and started to rub sun block all over her, so the baby wouldn't burn. Hawkeye did the same with Danny, and the Hunnicuts and Klingers did the same with their kids.  
  
For Katy, Ben, Danny, Anna, and Max, the adults tied a rope from them to the kids. They didn't want the little ones to get caught in the tide or something.  
  
Hawkeye took Danny out relatively deep, since he was tied to him and had a lifejacket on. Klinger and BJ joined him with Max and Ben, while Margaret and Peg stayed in the shallow with Katy and Anna.  
  
"On your marks, get set, go!" called Hawkeye. He, BJ, and Klinger all took off. They were having a race with the children still tied to them. The children just clapped and laughed as they were pulled along by their fathers. Frank went off a little ways by himself on another part of the beach near the parking area to frolic in the water.  
  
Eventually, everybody came in for lunch. They spread the food out, then realized that they had forgotten the paper plates in the van.  
  
"I'll go get them. Be right back!" said Margaret.  
  
"On your way, tell Frank that food's on." Said Hawkeye, motioning to Frank who was still in the water.  
  
Margaret nodded and started toward the vans. As she passed him, Frank was walking toward the beach. Just as she opened her mouth to tell him that food was ready, she noticed he was choking, having a hard time breathing for some reason.  
  
"Frank, are you okay?" she asked  
  
Frank, now on the beach, collapsed.  
  
"Hawk!" she hollered, "Frank's collapsed, maybe he swallowed water or something!"  
  
Hawkeye, BJ, Potter, and Charles all headed over. Margaret realized that she was by far the closest and, much as she didn't want to, had to perform mouth-to-mouth. So she knelt by him.  
  
Just as her lips touched his, she suddenly found herself on her back in the sand, with Frank on top of her kissing her, and it was obvious he had every intention to go farther than that pretty quickly.   
  
But before everything could process in her mind, Frank had been pulled, hard, off of her and flung to the ground, just to be pulled back up by his shirt to face a very angry Hawkeye. Potter, BJ, and Charles all bent down to help her to her feet. She opened her mouth to snap something at Frank, looking ready to breath fire, then noticed that Hawkeye already had a hold of him so slowly shut it, though she continued to glare.  
  
"Just what in the hell did you think you were doing?!?!?" Hawkeye demanded of Frank  
  
Frank was scared by the look in Hawkeye's eyes, so when he tried to say he hadn't meant it to go any farther than a simple stolen kiss he sputtered but couldn't make anything make sense. Frank didn't know why he had tried to go farther, but sensed it didn't matter why, he had and therefore wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of this one.  
  
Margaret said low to BJ and Potter, "As much as I would love for Hawkeye to pound his face in, maybe you better stop him before he does something stupid."  
  
Potter and BJ nodded. Hawkeye snapped at Frank, "I didn't think even you were low enough to try to do that with her husband and children right over there! What did you think I was going to do, sit there and do nothing?"  
  
Frank continued to sputter out nonsense. BJ and Potter stepped up, one on either side of the two.  
  
BJ gave Frank a look of disgust. "As much as he doesn't deserve the kindness, let him go, Hawk. He's an immoral prick and isn't worth the time or energy it takes to be mad at him."  
  
"That's right, son." Said Potter, giving Frank his own look of anger, "He's not worth it. And it won't solve anything."  
  
Hawkeye, no matter how much he wanted to do something, knew that they were right. So, he slowly let go of Franks shirt, still glaring. "They're right. But do it again, Frank, and you'll wish you really had choked!"  
  
With that, he spun on his heel and headed over to the other side of the beach, where the rest of the adults had stayed with the children and also where Margaret had gone after deciding that if she started on Frank she would likely let anger take over, and she didn't want that to happen.  
  
Frank chuckled nervously as he looked at the looks of contempt he was getting from Charles, Potter, BJ, and even still from Margaret from across the beach.  
  
"Just what _did_ you think you were doing?" seethed Potter once Hawkeye was out of ear shot.  
  
"You are a disgusting, perverted excuse of a human being!" said Charles  
  
"That's a compliment compared to what I had in mind, Frank." Warned BJ, "Besides what you did being inexcusable, that could have actually killed or severally hurt you. What if Margaret had performed full CPR or the Heimlich? You're a doctor, you should know how dangerous those are to someone who doesn't need them! You're just lucky we stopped Hawkeye from beating you senseless. You deserve every punch he would throw at you! Next time, we won't be so kind."  
  
"That's right." Added Potter, "We won't stop him." He stepped up so he was looking Frank right in the eye. "We'll help him."  
  
Frank gulped, and then BJ and Charles headed back to the others while Potter went to get the paper plates Margaret had originally gone after. As they walked up, Margaret put a comforting hand on Hawkeye's shoulder and, though she herself couldn't help shooting fire from her eyes in Frank's direction, said "It's alright, Hawk, he didn't hurt me."  
  
"I know, otherwise he wouldn't be standing." Said Hawkeye simply.  
  
Margaret couldn't help but let a small smile come to her face as Hawkeye, despite his words, soon forced himself to calm down.  
  
Meanwhile, Frank stood where he was, contemplating his options. He definitely didn't want to stay at the beach, but they had come together in the vans so he couldn't drive away. Then he thought of something. He could take one of the vans back to Hawkeye's, which would leave them a van to come and get the van he took. So he did. Luckily for him, they had left the keys in the vans because not only did people in Crabapple Cove not steal, but the beach they were at was kind of secluded. So he took one of the vans and sped off to the house.  
  
"Good riddance" Hawkeye muttered under his breath as the sound of the van driving away filled the air. Then he turned to BJ. "In a couple minutes, Beej, will you come with me to get the van back? I need another driver for the second van."  
  
BJ nodded, "Sure."  
  
Charles spoke up, "Sherman went to get the plates. Luckily, Frank chose the van that didn't have the plates in them."  
  
They all nodded, and then they heard from behind them a little shriek. They turned, and then all burst out laughing at the sight of little Katy with a head full of Mrs. Potter's potatoe salad because she had fallen head-first into the bowl. It broke the tension, and everyone settled down to eat.   
  
About 1, after the kids had been put down for naps on their towels, Hawkeye and BJ went to get the other van. Surprisingly, Frank had stayed. He was sitting in the porch swing when they drove up, and noticeable tensed to run.  
  
Hawkeye, who had completely calmed down not long after Frank had driven away, said "You staying up here the rest of the afternoon, Frank?"  
  
Frank nodded, surprised that Hawkeye didn't seem mad anymore.   
  
"Well then, there's bread and I think some lunch meat left in the fridge, so make yourself a sandwich sense you didn't get lunch."  
  
Frank nodded again, then said hesitantly "When will you guys be back?"  
  
"I think around 4 or so." Answered Hawkeye   
  
Frank nodded again, surprised that Hawkeye seemed willing to let him stay after what had happened at the beach, but didn't say anything. Hawkeye had decided that, for the good of the reunion, he might as well be somewhat nice. BJ and Hawk drove off with both vans back to the beach.  
  
While the kids napped, the adults took shifts in sitting on the beach by them in case they woke up, and the rest had fun in the water. Hawkeye succeeded in completely dunking Margaret in the deep water, simply because she had said before they came that she wasn't going to get her hair wet. That caused Margaret to chase him. Because Hawkeye had longer legs than Margaret, she had a hard time keeping up. They ran around the beach, in the shallow water, and swam in the deep water. Everyone else pretty much stopped what they were doing to watch and laugh. Since she was the underdog, they were all cheering for Margaret.  
  
"Almost! Just a little faster, Margaret!" hollered BJ.  
  
"You're a big help!" shouted Hawkeye.  
  
"Aren't I though?" grinned BJ.  
  
Finally, Hawkeye was running in the shallow water toward the deep, obviously going to dive under because he knew he had the big advantage in the water. Just as he went under, Margaret lunged and landed on him, holding him under. The rest cheered and laughed as Hawkeye struggled to get out from under her.   
  
Then, Margaret suddenly found herself flying through the air and hitting the water. Hawkeye had planted his feet against the ground and pushed, sending her flying. Soon after she hit the water, she was above it again, this time on Hawkeye's shoulders.   
  
Everyone on the beach laughed at her expression as she tried to figure out had she had gone from holding him under to being on his shoulders.  
  
"If that look had words, they'd be 'what the hell just happened?'" laughed Potter  
  
Margaret joined in the laughter, then bent enough to look into Hawkeye's face and asked, "How did you do that?"  
  
Hawkeye grinned up at her and shrugged the best he could with her on his shoulders. "Call it a gift."  
  
Margaret tried to climb off, only to find Hawkeye's grip tighten, trapping her on his shoulders.  
  
"Put me down!" she shrieked, then realized what she had just said. "No, wait a minute, don't……"   
  
Hawkeye grinned up at her once again. "You asked for it!"  
  
With that, he lunged backwards, sending them both splashing in the deeper water on their backs. Margaret gave a little shriek of, "WAIT!" as they flew back, then they went under.  
  
They both surfaced at about the same time, Hawkeye laughing at Margaret's sputtering as she popped up. She, too, started to laugh as she walked back toward the beach, knowing full well that Hawkeye would stay where he was, laughing. So she put a finger to her lips, motioning for the others not to give her away as she slowly started back toward Hawkeye. Hawkeye was now where the water came up to his chest, so it wasn't too deep, and he was still facing the other direction. Big mistake.  
  
Margaret crept up right behind him, then suddenly jumped, wrapped her hands around his forehead, and yanked him backwards to drag him under with her.   
  
She popped back up quickly, Hawkeye took a little longer because it had caught him by surprise. It was Margaret's turn to laugh uproariously at Hawkeye came up half-choking because he had been laughing when she pulled him under, therefore his mouth had been open.  
  
Hawkeye stood there stock-still, coughing with water running off his hair and face, with a shocked expression. It was too funny to everyone else.   
  
BJ had tears running down his face. "I don't believe it! She sure got you a good one, Hawk!"  
  
Potter managed between laughs, "I wish you could see your own face, son! You've die laughing!"  
  
"It would indeed seem that Margaret had gotten the last laugh!" said Charles.  
  
"Nice one, Margaret!" called Klinger.  
  
Soon Hawkeye started laughing, laughing harder than anyone as he put his hands up and said, "Alright, I surrender! Just don't make me choke to death!"  
  
Grinning, Margaret returned to the beach and laid down on her towel, victorious for the moment.  
  
Once everyone had stopped laughing, BJ and Hawkeye got a volleyball game going. Klinger, Potter, Hawk, and Charles against BJ, Trapper, Sidney and Father Mulcahy. After much shouting and cursing between Hawkeye and BJ, it was finally decided that BJ's team had won. By then, the kids had woken up from their naps. After one last dip in with the children, the moms banded together to declare that the kids had been out in the sun for too long already, and that they had to get them home.  
  
Despite much complaining from the men, the women prevailed and soon everyone was in the vans headed back to Hawkeye and Margaret's. To everyone's surprise, Frank was still there, watching TV in the living room.   
  
He looked up when they entered, and gave a small smile as he said hesitantly, "Hi, guys. Have a good time?"  
  
Now it was Frank's turn to be surprised, since everyone had had a good enough time that they were in good moods and were nice enough to him, considering.

_I had a hard time finding the right reactions for the various people in this chapter... I hope it's at least acceptable! R&R!_


End file.
